Why do I have love like an Ocean in my soul?

Why do I love you and can't stop? I've tried but it seems you would have to stop my beating heart.

I love him I do, and I shall till I die, no time can part this heart of mine. Though I know in my heart I deserve not a man who can't see that I would love him even if he had blood on his hands. That I would stay by his side though he use not my aid, it might slightly bruise me but I would love him the same.

We would never work out that I know to be true. I just wish you would love me the way I love you.

Never Been Kissed

Why must she be the girl who's gone through life having never been kissed. She dared to believe that love would come her way from kindergarden, then she told herself just wait till your older. Middle school came and went, and she began to believe high school held her love story. Unfortunately that girls in college wondering where did she go wrong. And maybe in her life time she will get that true love's kiss, but for now she stopped her waiting and said to hell with boys instead. So now she'll grow-up on her own in some penthouse in the sky, drinking down the vodka,  praying to forget about her life.

You think inside she must be hurting with a pain no one can see, some times she kind of voices it but not to it's extremes. She thought about a doctor to help her through her pains. But to say she's suicidal, her parents would only think her vain. So instead she cries herself to sleep, dreaming through the pain. Hoping that someday, God will take it all away.

Freedom of the heart

     The world is my stage holding endless opportunities that only you can seem to free; so reach for the stars set yourself free dream as a kid running in boundaryless simplicity cause deep down in side you just want to find that ever after.

The sun will always rise

You showed me the world through new eyes, you let me see a glimpse of your life.  You gave me your heart to love, and loved mine, with a passion I had never seen before. That's what I remember....That's where my dreams were centered. Till I realized that heart wasn't for you, it belong to someone that I barely knew. 

It didn't belong in the hands of a boy, nor in any one mans hand, but in God's, my God. Who had fought all of my battles, who had given me the heart, who had shown that he'd be their for me even if we'd part. I'd forgotten...I'd forgotten. The guilt eating me inside, until that day when I finally said goodbye.

Then the day arrived, where I regretted my goodbye, and picked the perfect day to show you why I ran away.  To ask you back into my life, and help me see my God within your light so I could love him all the more the way you did...

Sleepless nights

In my bed, three am, staring at the ceiling. Knowing good and well my sleeping pill is nothin' but poison. Because I can't dream those dreams anymore. To wake up the next morning and see them shattered on the floor. So....I'll just stare at the ceiling, in hopes, that it will swallow me whole. 

I hate this, it makes me sick, to see my heart crumple. Day dreaming won't save anything, it only adds to my troubles. So that lack of sleep, that lack of drive, that thinking mind that once was mine, was squander by the thoughts of love.  So screw the world and leave me to my chocolate, but, even that is loosing it's taste...

 

If I were to right a song...

You make me want to yell, want to scream, and yet I want to love you through eternity. Why can't you leave, run way, so I never have to see you're face. Wait don't, no come back, you've got me changing my mind. Stuck in this trance of insecure security. 

 I'm still confused, still abused, the reels of us are still going through my head. You hit me hard, like a dart penetrating through my mental heart. I should of known, should of guessed when I left you'd hide you're heart from me. But I want it back. No more crap. I want it back! Stuck in this insecure security. 

 It's been a year, somedays you're here, others you're a million miles away. I've made it clear that I am here, why can't you see in front of your damn face. Never mind, just let me hide, this time I mean it when I say goodbye. 

So now you care, now you worry what would ever make me run away? You stupid boy, I was just fine and now all I want to do is pray.... Dear Lord please take this love from me, I'm stuck in this trance of insecure security.